The green spiral that I saw coming down into me head when that dream started, looked like one of those candy sticks that are in the shape of a spiral.

I really want people around me to no longer do things in doubleness. I didn't like it when it started, though I didn't directly go to stop it. Firstly, just as hidden ultimatums can start with this, I didn't come directly against it, but moved to give place for repentance primarily, even though I still conducted spiritual warfare, also knowing that half of the deception is to just get drawn into battle and contention.

With everything that happened with April, I can see things on either side, whether she intends to still want to be with me, or not, so I don't know what her intents are.

I have given myself to even being trampled upon, though I still know that God has promised me an earthly inheritance before the new heavens and earth. I do understand that some of the end times things regarding what I have prophesied can be fine tuned, and made more right, whether figuratively, or fully literally. Even though I said what I did about the 42 months beginning in 2006 when Journey came to me regarding Megan, I do not believe this includes me, as to having my outer court trampled until 2010. I believe that this has to do with prophecy regarding the body of Christ, and His sacrifice.

I still have more things that the LORD is giving me, and I am still preparing things, as far as this book.

I do have to say that I do feel kind of neglected and ignored and more, but I also know that I have willingly laid my life down concerning things. I have spiritually seen the fulfillment of the things that I have prophesied, though some things were commenced regarding the context that I spoke them in. For example, things regarding Megan, and context being in her wanting to be with me, or not. I have really tried to not just say things in different contexts, just to appeal to things. I hate when things are done that way too much, because then there is place for anybody to just say anything, and then say they only meant it one way. In regards to everyone coming to me, and telling me things that have happened, and their intents, and how they want to be included in things, I know that this regards contextual things, according to people's own lives. I do think that people have tried to deal with me, as if to show me tough love, and to show me that I have to take care of myself. Whether or not people understood what I have done, or what is motivating me, or whether or not I am just dealing with things, as far as being cursed after being with Michelle, and whether or not people even believe that- I understand this is included in how people interact with me. One point I have received from the LORD, is that He didn't have to raise me up from the dead. And I understand this both in the way of me continuing in Him, and partaking of my second chance, but I also understand this in the way of anyone trying to feel like I am not taking care of what really matters. I have also felt like people just try to tell me to 'prove it,' or kind of say 'fine, then do it your way,' but I still see the testimony of the way Christ was treated, when they essentially told Him that if He was who He said He was that He should then save Himself.

I know that I have received from the LORD, that I can not do everything alone, and that people may have thought that this is what I was doing, when I was following the LORD, even though sometimes I didn't have a place to live, or food to eat.

I have not wanted to say this, or act like this, but I have seen terrors of the LORD, and gone through painful things that I just don't think many could imagine. And I also have felt like they judge me, when they don't even know or understand what I have been through, and how I am walking in God. I didn't want to have an attitude that just appealed to people only based on these kinds of things.

I also do hate to have sinful things going on in my life, as I also testify of the LORD. Both for His testimony and mine. And I even strove to have nothing sinful in my life before I really started to get weighed down after Journey came to me in 2006 regarding Megan. And I feel like people just think and believe that I am ambitious towards myself, and that I am being esoteric. And like I am not really laying things down, or having the mind of Christ, or being patient, or working. And I also know that when I was in spiritual warfare, and people were around me, that it could have seemed as if I wasn't following the Spirit, but only my vain imaginations concerning Him and myself. But within me I have this direct line to God that is strong, and still with me even when I am weak. And I think that some people think and believe that I only fall and stumble because I am being surety when I shouldn't be. But I know I have the Spirit, and that I have followed Him, and that I do follow Him and am led by Him, and I know and am able to tell, when the Spirit is telling me that in either doing certain things or not doing certain things, that His oneness is or isn't going to be present or remain.

And I also know that I have partaken of great things in the LORD, and that I am greatly beloved of Him, whether or not anyone wants to be around them or not. I know that bad things aren’t just happening to me because I try to have such great things of God. And I also know that anyone could think that the things God has shown me aren’t necessary as far as being normal. And like I have said before, I know that He doesn’t just give me great things to compensate for ‘great evils’ I have had in my life. God’s will be done. And I also want to say that I am not just perceiving things a certain way, because I want to. And I know in God that things aren’t happening certain ways in my life, just because I am self- interpreting them.

I still know too, the good things that people have done for me.

But I still do hate the way that some things happen, regarding other people and me, as if learning ‘how the world works’ or just ‘getting over things’ is actually good. And I still do feel sometimes like I wished I was getting help with things, though I know that people are doing things to help. I believe that when people are trying to say that I am just perceiving things a certain way, and thus also having vain imaginations that they are being generous, at usury, as the Bible speaks about. And I think this happens when I am shown ‘how the world works’ and how ‘getting over things’ is ‘the way it is.’