"My friends and I would like to invite you and your friends to the bankruptcy and store closing of some American establishments.

"We would also like to thank all of you who have supported us with your votes and prayers. We've never had so much fun or made so much money in all our lives. The truth is, until you elected me as your President, I had failed miserably at everything I'd tried.

"Oh, I almost forgot, I talked with God again today, and He said to pass on to you that He was super pleased with everything Cheney and I have done in the last seven years in His behalf." — George W. Bush